The Australian Way?

A figurative boom echoes from the screen as the latest salvo is fired. The ethereal puff of smoke created by the discharge of yet another online sledge is tempered by the mental crater created by the impact, carving out another space in a battle in which there is no right, and conversely, no wrong. The righteousness of all sides permeates their taunts, their cries, their typos from quickly written impassioned pleas, until there is no space for debate and evolution of ideas, or for compromise. The carcasses of the also rans are merely the past in this battle of extreme dichotomies.

I am, of course, talking about one’s choice of vehicle in which to make the trip around Australia in. As if there could be any greater debate, now that Bega cheese owns vegemite, and both Holden and Ford have taken their manufacturing operations overseas. It is in these spaces where goals are so similar – a desire to experience Australia – that the small differences provide an effective mechanism for division.

When reading through the many and varied online forums, one could be forgiven for thinking that there are only two ways by which to travel any great distance. By caravan, or motorhome. Yet surely common sense would tell us there are more ways? The alternatives aren’t that far fetched. The thumb raised to the sky, signalling to drivers by the desire to hitch a lift as well as signalling membership of a counterculture vastly opposed to FaceBook’s blue thumbs up? The possibility of camping, brings with us only a car, tent, and whatever belongings will fit within that space? Or one step from there, in which campertrailers are the new kid on the block, bringing the lack of privacy associated with camping up a level by providing a proper bed, lights, and food cooking utensils? And yet another option with the car, to explore the hospitality of many motels and hotels situated around Australia? Finally, campervans are incredibly popular in Australia, being constantly in incredibly tight supply and holding almost all of their value in any resale.

And yet, despite knowing about all of these options, it has come down to a decision between caravans and motorhomes.

The appeal of living out of one backpack for any extended length of time, and determining an itinerary solely on the travel plans of kind strangers rapidly dwindles for anyone on this side of 30. Camping in a tent has some appeal, if you don’t need to function in any meaningful way the next day and your only expectation is that you’ll need to appreciate the scenery. Want to do anything more than stare into the distance and let out a good natured sigh every now and then, though, and you’ll need some way to ensure you get a good night’s sleep. And staying in motels and hotels the entire way, whilst certainly assisting Australia’s economy, is going to mean we’ll be working for far longer before we get to go on holiday.

And why not a campervan? Well, as the mantra goes, try before you buy. One of our parents has had their 4WD Mitsubishi Delica fitted out by removing the back seats and inserting a bed, shelving, and a camp stove. An awning can be attached to the outside and a surprising amount of flooring, chairs, and food could be packed away under the bed. This ingenious approach was a fantastic opportunity to do a short trip around Tasmania and experience the wilderness up close. And it definitely helped us realise this.

So why not take a campervan on our six month adventure?

Well, we had a marvellous experience from our first day, where we travelled through a Tasmanian town called Perth, saw wineglass bay, travelled through wonderful scenery, had a Wallaby come to visit in the evening and thanks to the van being all terrain, were able to stay at a pebbled beach where the waves knocked the rocks together in a sound more fascinating, more overpowering than new years fireworks.

And yet as the days went on, as hot showers became more and more the stuff of legend than anything approaching our reality, and the tiny space compressed our lives and our emotions, and the reverberations of snoring echoed of the small interior, the holiday seemed less and less an adventure and more a chore. This is most clearly reflected in our photos of the holiday, where our holiday photos started off looking like this:

The photos very quickly lost their zest and joy. Later photos started to display less exuberant joy than might have been suggested by the first:

Until, finally, some days of our holiday had no photos at all.

The true measure of our experience, was arriving in Hobart, where we had booked a bare bones motel. Pulling into the parking lot, though, was like arriving at the Hyatt. Rooms had walls, real walls! And the water ran by itself, without needing to be squeezed from an oversized bottle, and, well, it had a tap for hot water! We could sit up, in the bed, and not acquire new bruises on our foreheads from the roof, and someone had cleaned the toilets in the past month, these toilets that had their fancy flush mechanism. Our elation lasted for more than 24 hours, tempered eventually only by the realisation that the toilet ran all night, the smoke alarm enjoyed beeping to make sure you didn’t sleep too soundly, and we would have to get back in the campervan again soon.

This is not to say it was not an amazing experience, and we are forever thankful for the opportunity to travel Tasmania and see some of the most spectacular scenery the world has to offer. Just that we won’t be jumping at the opportunity to do it for a full 6 months.

So, caravan or motorhome? We’ll soon let you know which side of the battle we will join.